Tuesday, November 11, 2003
If you look below, you can see a thing about Bush's new abortion ban.
I am quite displeased at this bill. Here is why (respectfully stolen from the NARAL site. I don't think they'll mind. You steal it, too.)
The bill is dangerous for women's health.
The President and his allies would not even allow an exception to protect women's health - even though the Supreme Court says one is constitutionally required.
It means that a doctor could go to jail for putting patients' health first, even if a woman's health or future fertility is at risk.
The law is designed to erode the protections of Roe v. Wade.
Over the eight years since it was first introduced, bill proponents have plainly stated that it is but one step toward their ultimate goal - eliminating the right to choose entirely.
One well-known anti-choice leader, Randall Terry of the infamous Operation Rescue, recently described the bill as "a political scam and a public relations goldmine."
These bans are deceptive.
Claims that this only affects a specific procedure or only late-term abortions are wrong. This is a broad ban that covers a range of procedures used as early as 12 or 13 weeks of pregnancy.
President Bush will soon become the first President in history to criminalize safe medical procedures.
This is the first federal law since Roe v. Wade criminalizing abortion procedures.
There is widespread opposition to these bans.
Respected health organizations such as the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists, the American Medical Women's Association, the American Nurses Association and the American Public Health Association do not support these bans.
A solid majority of Americans opposes these bans. According to a recent ABC News poll, 61% of Americans oppose a ban on procedures without a health exception.
Right. Well. I put the link and image here on my own blog, but thought that wasn't enough. If any of you would like to also have the link and image on your site or blog, I went ahead and uploaded all the information and images, along with instructions on how to get it to your site, on my own server. You can use my server space for the images. Just go here to find out how.
Thursday, November 06, 2003
Horny Indian Cab Drivers
So, I had to venture out this evening into the cold to hit the ATM down the road and put in some money so my rent cheque doesn't bounce down the street...
Everything was fine up until after I put the money in and turned to leave. An SUV pulled up, and a drunk blonde girl fell out of the passenger side door and staggered over to the ATM.
I started to head back towards home, and another drunk person came out of the SUV. This one was male, and he was dancing.
'Hey, sthweetie! Dance with me! It's the HOMO HOEDOWN!' he shouted, as he whirled around like a maniac. I burst out laughing, because it's not every day that a flaming homosexual pops out of an SUV and invites you to dance in a Homo Hoedown with him.
I did what any sane rational person would do.
I did the tango with him around the parking lot. In the freezing cold, in the middle of the night.
Y'know, as one does.
Still laughing, I continued on towards home. A white Victory Cab cruised past me once, and I didn't think anything of it. Then it turned around and cruised past again. I quirked a brow, but kept walking.
Then it pulled up beside me. The driver said something that I couldn't quite hear, so I just smiled and made a dismissive gesture with my hand, and kept walking.
He kept following me.
This went on for a few hundred feet, so I finally stopped and said, 'What's the problem?'
The cabbie, of some Middle Eastern descent, with a very heavy accent, started blaring something at me, gesturing wildly. We were on Huron River Drive, which is a pretty busy road, and due to traffic noise and the nature of his accent, I couldn't understand a damned thing he was saying.
After about 5 minutes of him blaring and me going, 'Huh?' I finally realised what he wanted...
He wanted me to get in the cab, and go drinking with him.
I politely declined and started walking again.
He kept following, shouting out the window, 'You are sure? Have alcohol! You come now!'
I briefly contemplated concocting a story about my 7 children at home and my large angry Swedish bodybuilding boyfriend named Sven, who would surely be wondering where I was by now, and would have no compunctions about beating the crap out of a wayward girlfriend and the horny Indian cab driver that loved her...
I decided against that, though, in favor of flipping him the bird and continuing on my merry way.
I suppose the horny Indian programmers have leaked out into real life.
If you ever need a cab whilst in the Ann Arbor/Ypsi area, don't call Victory Cab. The drivers are all, based on this one experience with this one guy, pervs.
It's not even Thanksgiving yet, and already stores are starting to bust out the Xmas merchandise...I thought I would join in on the 'taking the holidays way too seriously by starting over a month in advance' parade, and offer some things for your viewing displeasure.
Since I've been putting up incredibly tacky things for you to gawk at, it's only natural that I would have to find some pictures of insane American Xmas decorations.
You see, a long time ago, a little baby may or may not have been born in a month that certainly wasn't December, so we celebrate his birthday by covering our homes with enough tiny twinkle lights to illuminate an entire city block and plastic snowmen. Just like they did in Bethlehem. Awww!
Anyway, take a look at these fine specimens:
I can't even begin to imagine what their electric bill looks like. How do they sleep at night with the entire house and yard lit up like broad daylight? Further, just how much time did they waste putting all that crap all over their house, and how much money did they spend on it to show us they're in the True Christmas Spirit...? No better way to show us that, certainly...not like, send all that money to starving orphans in Africa or anything...
I hope this house catches fire.
ARGH! LOOK OUT! THERE'S A WIRE ANGEL COVERED IN LIGHTS HEADING STRAIGHT FOR YOUR ROOF AND WHAT APPEARS TO BE POSSESSED POWER LINES RADIATING FROM YOUR TREES! RUN! RUN FOR YOUR STUPID WORTHLESS LIVES!
Nothing says Christmas like a huge glowing American flag on the roof.
Wee Bobby and Susie can sleep safe at night knowing that there's a giant army of grimacing frozen guys out on the front lawn, flanked by toy soldiers of doom. If you listen closely, you can hear the frozen guys screaming...'help us....help us...'
I should probably stop for now. Toodles!
Sunday, November 02, 2003
"Although no one knows what the soul looks like, we can offer the life-giving breath of angels, Angel Snot(tm). This beautiful pearlescent substance is a solid manifestation of the miraculous power of angels. ...You will never be alone as long as you keep a little bit of Angel Snot(tm) with you."
I found this accompanied by the caption 'Jesus Got Game!'
It just keeps getting worse...
My new mission here at Deus ex Machina seems to be finding extremely tacky things and posting them for you all to gawk at.
I ran across this yesterday when trying to find the toilet stuffed full of flowers.
I don't even have the words to comment on this work of art...
Please note that it's on velvet. Like a velvet Elvis, but...y'know, Jesus. And an 18 wheeler...
Saturday, November 01, 2003
Okay, after this, I swear I'm done with the lawn ornaments thing...for now.
Okay, it's not exactly outside, but you get the idea...most people keep the damned things outside...I had to search high and low for this pic. Best I could do.
Gawd save us.
I'm still stuck on the tacky yard 'art' thing, so I went and dug up a couple pictures.
Here's the Unnamed Thing I couldn't name earlier. Apparently, they call them Gazing Balls.
Here is your standard Gazing Ball:
These come in a wide array of colors and styles, all equally as noxious. And if the pedestal dealie weren't bad enough, you can purchase your very own 'English Lad' holding a shiny bowling ball.
I also managed to find some cardboard asses, doing their assly duty in some trailer park. The trailer park is most often where you find these, truth be told, but I've seen them crop up in yards all across the States. Woe unto us, o my brothers. Woe.
Just thought I'd share.
'Merica, You Got Some Splainin' to Do
So, yesterday was Hallowe'en.
Uhm, Happy Hallowe'en.
Personally, I love Hallowe'en, but it's just not what it used to be anymore. I took the kids out trick or treating and while they did rake in a goodly amount of free candy (and even some crayons!), it was not nearly as much as I used to get when I was a child. I remember when every house on the block had the porch light on, and garbage bags of candy were collected in under an hour.
Ah well. The kids had fun, and so did I.
What's not fun about Hallowe'en, and truly every holiday here in 'Merica, are the idiots that go nuts decorating the outsides of their homes for the event.
This picture was thoughtfully taken and sent to me by Fanged Buffalo and Caligula.
Sure, it's not as bad as some houses get. Look at this (which I have stolen from someone's homepage. Shh. Don't tell.)
Okay. Now. Look, how much money did these people fork over to make their houses look retarded? This is just as bad as those idiots that hang the plastic easter eggs from little strings all over their front yard trees for Easter, and those idiots that completely cover their homes in Xmas lights, making the house glow like something radioactive well into March.
Americans have tacky down to a science, it seems. You can't go for a block 'round here without seeing some house with junk all over the lawn.
Popular Junk to Put on the Lawn:
1) Gnomes: While vaguely cute, does one really need 500 ceramic pointy hatted short men on the lawn? No, I don't think so.
2) Those Godfucking Pink Flamingos With the Propellors For Wings: UGH!
3) A Toilet: That's right. I've observed on numerous occasions in various different states, toilets on the lawn. Decorative toilets. That have been knocked over artfully, and cleverly filled with dirt and flowers so that it looks as if the flowers are spilling out of the toilet and onto the lawn. Who the hell thought this was a good idea?
4) A Cardboard Ass: The Cardboard Ass can most likely be seen in a flowerbed or garden. It is usually very fat and round and wearing a red polka dot skirt. It is meant to resemble a woman with a fat round ass in a red polka dot skirt bending over and working in aforementioned flowerbed or garden. It is frightful.
5) Lawn Jockeys: I don't think I can think of anything witty to say about these. Just look for yourself and witness the horror:
(On a side note, lawn jockeys were used to mark points along the Underground Railroad. That's nice. They still look crap, and the Underground Railroad has been done with for many years now.)
6) Not Even Sure What They're Called: Those pedestals with the globes on them...I don't even think they have a name, much less a function...
Let us not forget how retarded people go for Xmas, with the 900 foot tall light up Santa, or perhaps an entire Nativity set made of light up plastic...
Those're just a few I can think of off the top of my head. All I want to know is: what the hell possesses people to do this stuff?