Thursday, November 06, 2003
It's not even Thanksgiving yet, and already stores are starting to bust out the Xmas merchandise...I thought I would join in on the 'taking the holidays way too seriously by starting over a month in advance' parade, and offer some things for your viewing displeasure.
Since I've been putting up incredibly tacky things for you to gawk at, it's only natural that I would have to find some pictures of insane American Xmas decorations.
You see, a long time ago, a little baby may or may not have been born in a month that certainly wasn't December, so we celebrate his birthday by covering our homes with enough tiny twinkle lights to illuminate an entire city block and plastic snowmen. Just like they did in Bethlehem. Awww!
Anyway, take a look at these fine specimens:
I can't even begin to imagine what their electric bill looks like. How do they sleep at night with the entire house and yard lit up like broad daylight? Further, just how much time did they waste putting all that crap all over their house, and how much money did they spend on it to show us they're in the True Christmas Spirit...? No better way to show us that, certainly...not like, send all that money to starving orphans in Africa or anything...
I hope this house catches fire.
ARGH! LOOK OUT! THERE'S A WIRE ANGEL COVERED IN LIGHTS HEADING STRAIGHT FOR YOUR ROOF AND WHAT APPEARS TO BE POSSESSED POWER LINES RADIATING FROM YOUR TREES! RUN! RUN FOR YOUR STUPID WORTHLESS LIVES!
Nothing says Christmas like a huge glowing American flag on the roof.
Wee Bobby and Susie can sleep safe at night knowing that there's a giant army of grimacing frozen guys out on the front lawn, flanked by toy soldiers of doom. If you listen closely, you can hear the frozen guys screaming...'help us....help us...'
I should probably stop for now. Toodles!
link | posted by Zombie at 1:09 AM |
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