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Friday, March 31, 2006

Oh, the Usual.

So I went to have my "complimentary free personal training session" yesterday. I keep putting that in quotes because that's what they call it, even though saying "complimentary" implies "free" and vice versa...I guess they think it sounds better or something.

Anyway, I get changed into my fancy exercise clothes (okay, black pants and a black t-shirt, but the pants have a special media pocket to put my mp3 player in, so they're totally fancy) and wander over there. I stand and wait for Personal Trainer Guy to come out of his office.

A scruffy man walks up behind the counter with the other Counter Man and says, "Hey, dude." I keep waiting for Personal Trainer Guy. The scruffy man says, "Dude, are you going hiking?"

I realize he's talking to me. "Uh...hiking?"

"Dude, like, you have a backpack. That's so for hiking. Dude."

"Uh...it's got my clothes and stuff in it.

"Oh! Right! That's smart, putting stuff in a bag like that. Anyway, I'm ____, your personal trainer!"

Oh jeez.

All this "dude" and "hiking" and whatnot wasn't exactly inspiring confidence in me, but I decided since this was both free and complimentary, I would be a good sport.

We went back to his office where he proceeded to show me the Dark Elf character he was building for some video game he plays, which lead to a heady discussion of the upcoming Silent Hill movie and whether or not it would be good (we decided it will not be good. We decided that, in fact, it will be fucking awesome) and then a further discussion about how he has not yet seen Brotherhood of the Wolf (directed by Christopher Gans, who has directed Silent Hill) because he didn't think it would be good for his kids to see.

"Why not just watch it after they go to bed?" says I.

"Oh...that's a great idea! I never thought of that."

Yes, we did eventually talk about exercising. We decided that he would not make the best trainer for me, and that instead, I should meet with Honey (yes, that's her real name) because she works with people with arthritis and fibromyalgia and suchlike. She called me later and she seems nice, so I am looking forward to meeting her.

I realize that the session that is both free and complimentary is just an hour for them to try to sell me more sessions that will be neither free nor complimentary, but I figure I can at least get a basic idea of a routine sort of thing that I can follow on my own.

******

Remember when I said about walking into walls and stuff? Uh yeah.

Had another moment of utter gracefulness a little bit ago.

In order to go out for a smoke, I have to walk through our darkened back conference room, which happens to have a little stage on which a video camera sits, for filming purposes. The room is very dark and the stage is very black. As I was coming back from outside, squinting, I managed to bang my knee on the point of the stage and pitch forward, falling over said stage and landing on my face.

Yes. I am graceful, much like a ballerina or something.

So, I laid there, rolling about and going, "SON OF A WHORE" and "OW" and "DON'T CRY! DON'T CRY!"

Because if there's anything worse than falling flat on your face at work after banging your knee hideously hard against a pointy wooden object, it's bursting into tears at work after falling flat on your face after banging your knee hideously hard against a pointy wooden object.

I managed to hobble out and my boss made me an icepack while trying (unsuccessfully) not to laugh at me, so now it's only slightly swollen, and I guess it could be worse.

*****

Here's my Misfits shoes, as per Ford's request. I am wearing them today, even though I forgot I have to conduct an interview with a potential new employee and I should look professional, i.e. not wearing sneakers with the Misfits Fiend on them. Oh well.


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and...

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and...

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That last one there is from the inside of the shoe. Oh yes, it is sweet.

Anyway, guess I better prepare for interviewing. More later...

Toodles.


link | posted by Zombie at 8:05 AM |


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