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Monday, May 29, 2006


It is too hot to post anything important today (like I ever post anything important, hah!).

I think the sun wants to be my boyfriend. Because it is all over my ass. All. Over.My.Ass.

It is rather painful and annoying and I am all like, "Okay, sun, I get that you dig me and my ass and all that, but really, can you back off a little? Just a tad? Because I'm fucking melting over here, and the humidity doesn't help. And seriously, this is May? In Michigan? It should still be snowing? It should not be 85 with 9 Billion Percent humidity, should it? No. It should not. That should be in at least July or something. In Michigan, we have four seasons and they are: Snow, More Snow, A HELL OF A LOT OF SNOW, Slightly Less Snow. And maybe one day of OH GOD IT IS SO HOT I WILL DIE. Certainly not three days in a row of that. In May. So if you're confused, sun, I understand, but listen to President Bush when he says there's no such thing as global warming, and get off my ass. So, please understand when I say it's not you, it's me. Because I don't like being so hot. Okay, okay, I'll be honest, it is you. Get off my ass."

And the sun is like, "Glare, glare, glareglareglare."

The sun needs to know it will never be my boyfriend if it keeps up this whole not listening to me thing. It should know that if it wants to be my boyfriend, it at least has to put up the illusion of listening to me. Being all over my ass in such a miserable fashion is not a great way to start off a meaningful relationship, seriously.

Hear that, sun? You have been warned.

link | posted by Zombie at 10:42 PM |


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