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Wednesday, May 31, 2006


It has been too hot to formulate a coherent thought, and as such, I cannot seem to come up with a topic that will make for a post of decent length.

Instead, I've decided to make this a Post of Miscellany. It will be disjointed and probably utterly appalling. Aren't you excited? I bet you are. Or not. Whatever.

1.) Here is a picture of my desk at work:


Yes, those are my walls. They are blood red. No, I did not paint them that way. It was like that when I got there. I thought maybe it would give me a headache when I first saw it, but it turns out that the glaring red is actually soothing. It seems to calm my inner child or something. At the very least, it doesn't clash with my homicidal rage, which so happens to be a complementary shade of red.

Wouldn't do to have my homicidal rage not match my walls. Someone could get hurt.

2.) We had another team meeting today. I didn't have to sit at the Plague Table because I am only vaguely sick now.

So, we are talking. Coworker #3 somehow ends up talking about a friend of hers, who is apparently a freelance writer. This is how the conversation went:

Coworker #3: He's a freelance automotive writer.

Boss: Who does he write for?

Coworker #3: African Americans on wheels.

There was silence for a few beats, then:


I laughed, y'all, and I could not help it. In fact, I did not just laugh. No, I howled. 'Til I cried. I had no idea what the hell "African Americans on wheels" was, but it sure as hell sounded funny, and also produced a mental image of a herd of black people with wheels for feet careening down the street.

So my howling set everyone else off, and we're all laughing like mad.

We finally calm down a bit, from laughing hysterically to occasionally snorting and chuckling.

Boss: What's that African American motorcycle gang?

Coworker #1: Black people in wheelchairs?

Zombie: Black people on roller skates?

Boss: Don't be stupid, black people don't roller skate.

Zombie: Oh yeah. Sorry.

Anyway, it turns out that African Americans on Wheels is an automotive magazine, geared towards African Americans. It's a real magazine. I found a crappy picture of a cover.

Not About African Americans With Wheels For Feet, Unfortunately

It's a shame about the wheels-for-feet thing. Because that would be cool. It's also a shame about the rollerskating thing, because as we all know from The Warriors, gangs on roller skates are fucking badass.

Stereotypes are fun!

3.) I love Hello Kitty.



Ahh, gratuitous cute. Gotta love it.

link | posted by Zombie at 5:34 PM |


Anonymous Hunter commented at 7:26 PM~  

Those flowers do not go with your walls. Or, maybe they do. I lack the 'decorator gene'.

Blogger Zombie commented at 8:55 PM~  

Those flowers are actually pens. And they are fuzzy. And Secretary gave them to me for my birthday. And since they are pens and fuzzy, I was immediately in love with them.

Thank you, Secretary!

Anonymous Native Amerikan On Wheels commented at 2:21 PM~  

That's almost the exact color I want my bedroom painted. 'Cept a little less orange-ish

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