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Wednesday, May 24, 2006

Unclean! Unclean!

Despite still having the Ebola, I went back to work today.

We had a lunchtime meeting. I like those, as they generally include Chinese food I do not have to pay for.

Anyway, so at this meeting, I shamble in, being all suffering from the Ebola as I am, and Boss looks at me.

Boss: You sit back there.

Zombie: Huh?

Boss: Sit back there.

Zombie: At the table at the back?

Boss: Yes.

Zombie: Oh. Don't want to catch my bubonic plague, do you?

Boss: Well...

Zombie: Hmm. Does this mean I am a Plague Monkey?

Boss: ...

Zombie: Will y'all start calling me Typhoid Mary now?

Boss: ...

Zombie: This is discrimination. That's what this is. Y'all are persecuting me on account of the fact that I'm a Plague Monkey. I will call the ACLU. I will call Judge Judy. I will call SOMEONE. Next thing I know, someone's gonna start shouting "BRING OUT YER DEAD!" and y'all are going to start dragging me out there to the cart and I'm gonna be all "I'm not dead yet!" and you're gonna be all --

Boss: What on earth are you talking about?

Zombie: It is not me talking. It is the Ebola.

Boss: You're making my head hurt again.

And off to my Plague Table I went.

It was kinda cool, being a Plague Monkey. I hope I have to sit at the back of the room all alone again tomorrow, if we have a meeting, because if I'm back there, everyone forgets I am there until I pipe in with something completely inappropriate ("If we get the owner a MySpace to promote the new launch, he will have to be an emo, because only emos are on MySpace, and I think the fact that Owner is bald and doesn't have any hair to do that flippy thing precludes him from emo and MySpace altogether. That's a law." "Zombie's Real Name, what on earth are you talking about?") and also I can doodle in my notebook ("Zombie + Jesus Christ = BFF! 4eva!" "WWFSMD?") and if anyone looks at me, they'll think I am paying attention/industriously taking notes.

I like that.

link | posted by Zombie at 8:27 PM |


Blogger Ford commented at 2:28 AM~  

I'm on MySpace and I think EMO's are snivelling shits.

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