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Tuesday, August 08, 2006

Don't You Look At Me In That Tone Of Voice

You might have noticed by now that I am a little bit weird. Okay, more than a little bit.

But I like to use my weirdness to amuse myself, which I do on a daily basis.

For example, I like to enter Coworker #1's office in a strange manner.

Sometimes, I'll burst into the room, hollering "HEY!" Sometimes, I will peek around the doorjamb and make a weird noise. Things like that.

Today, the first time, I went into her office doing the Nazi walk John Cleese does in the brilliant "The Germans" episode of Fawlty Towers. I tried finding a clip of it, but the BBC is anal and made all the YouTube people take it down. HATE!

Here is a still shot, in case you don't know what I am talking about:

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Anyway, the second time I went in, I did so while making that "chicka-chicka" noise from that classic 80s hit "Oh Yeah" by Yello.

I am teh win.

Anyway, so Coworker #1 and I chat for a bit. She tells me of the new guy she's seeing, who is nice and cute and stuff. He has a flaw, though, which is that he is a Loud Talker.

You know the Loud Talker. The one that can't seem to figure out how to work his volume control and talks as if he is trying to hail a cab for 100 yards away?

Yeah, you know the one.

This led to a discussion about other Talkers, like the Close Talker and the Low Talker on Seinfeld.

Coworker #1 regales me with a tale of a girl she once worked with, who was a Staring Talker.

Apparently, this girl would come over to you and say something, like, "I like your shirt."

You would obviously respond with a thank you.

But then she'd just stand there and stare at you. Like so:

"How was your weekend?"

"Fine, thank you."


This cracked me up like crazy, for some reason. We decide to try it on Secretary.

I go over to Secretary's office, with Coworker #1 on my heels.

"Yo, Secretary," I say. "I like your shoes."


*stare...stare...stare,stare,stare, stare*

Secretary blinks at me. "What are you doing?"

"I just like your shoes."


She blinks at me again and Coworker #1 and I fall down laughing..

We explain the story to Secretary and she cracks up, too.

"Let's go try it on Secretary's Boyfriend!"

So we all troop down the hall. We try to decide who should be the one to do this to him.

"I can't do it anymore," I say. "I will bust out laughing."

"I can't do it, either," Coworker #1 says. "Secretary should do it. She is used to having to look at him."

"What's THAT supposed to mean?" Secretary asks.

And we all fall down laughing again.

After we compose ourselves, Secretary goes to his office and taps on the door. She sticks her head in. Coworker #1 and I wait behind her.

"Hey. Was your lunch good?" asks Secretary.

"Yeah, it was awesome," he says.


"What the..." says Secretary's Boyfriend.


"Uh..." says Secretary's Boyfriend.

Then I snicker and all of a sudden, all three of us are just laughing hysterically again.

"What?! Do I have something in my teeth?! WHAT?" he says.

We just keep laughing and laughing, hanging onto each other, and he slams his office door shut.

Secretary goes and opens the door and explains what is wrong with us.

And he joins in with the laughing, and soon, everyone in the office is cackling away like a pack of hyenas.

Yeah, we're weird.

link | posted by Zombie at 7:21 PM |


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