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Friday, September 22, 2006

Things Zombie Hates Not-Thursday

Yeah, didn't get a chance to write last night. I'd like to say it was because I was out on the town, havin' a blast, gettin' drunk, gettin' in fights, gettin' arrested, goin' to jail, and gettin' my fellowship on with my companion drunken cellmates by singing "Go Down, Moses" in four-part harmony, but alas. That did not happen.

My real life is so much more excruciatingly boring than all that, though you may, from time to time, catch me singing "Go Down, Moses" by myself anyway.

I won't tell you what I was really doing, but if you are very clever, you might be able to figure it out anyway. Hint: it involved the TV, random shouting, the fetal position and insomnia.


Anyway, here's your hate:

1.) The Realization That I Am a Hopeless Dork.

I have introduced The Creep to the Wonder that is the YouTube. I have shared random fun videos, most of which I have already posted here.

Then I shared the Best Music Video Ever Made, which is Bonnie Tyler's video for "Total Eclipse of the Heart."


If you hadn't seen that before, or at least not since you used to hug the TV while you watched VH1's Pop Up Video, you're welcome. Your life is more enriched for having seen this video today.

I wish I had been there for the meeting that developed this video. Whatever genius thought of having ninjas, men in furry loincloths, an army of Children of the Damned-esque choirboys, a mostly naked boys' high school swim team, a group of gay men in motorcycle jackets, and a mostly naked boy with wings all together in one music video is my personal hero.

Also the end of this video is sheer cinematic genius.

Anyway, so this set off a volley of sending links to music videos back and forth, and The Creep sent this:

And even before the video loaded, I was all, "YEAH. GWAR. YEAH YEAH. GWAR GWAR GWAR. HEH. YEAH YEAH," and bouncing up and down in my chair in glee and that is when I realized that I am hopeless.

But hey, whatever. GWAR. GWAR. GWAR GWAR GWAR.

What is extra-special is the argument that broke out in the comments section of this video. I never really thought I'd see a fight break out over whether or not Slipknot is better than GWAR. Because why would you argue about that?

And, suddenly, I feel better about my dorkiness, because at least I'd never do that.

In public, anyway.

Hail Saddam a go-go!

2.) The CGI Barbie Movies I Keep Seeing Advertised.

I don't know what's up with these Barbie movies. Not so long ago, I saw a commercial for one and went, "AHHH! WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?"

"Mom, that is Barbie and the Magic of Pegasus," my daughter stoutly informed me.

"Is that for kids? Surely that's not for kids. It looks so...wrong."

"It's for kids!"

Not for my kids. I'm not buying any DVD with an army of computer-generated Barbies with dead, dead eyes flailing around and singing.

Not going to happen.

3.) The Fact That It's Fucking Freezing In Here.

I can't get the damned pilot light on the furnace lit. There is something wrong with it. So, of course, there is no heat. And it's freaking cold in here in the mornings and since it's quite possible that I am actually a reptile, my body temperature lowers to match that of my surroundings, and so, I am freaking cold. It appears not to bother the children, so that's good. But still.

I called the landlord to inform him that the pilot light won't stay lit and could he please come and fix it. Or send someone to fix it. And he said he would. But no one has come yet. So the pilot light remains unlit.

And did I mention I'm freaking cold?

I'm thinking about climbing into the oven for an hour or two, just to warm up.

My luck, though, I'd get all snoozy from the lovely warmth and fall asleep and then we'd have to have roast leg of me for dinner.


And that's all she wrote.

link | posted by Zombie at 6:39 AM |


Blogger Rachel commented at 7:08 PM~  

Ok is it just me or is that Bonnie Tyler video a little Debra Lafave with a Mary Kay Letourneau twist?

Blogger Zombie commented at 2:17 AM~  

Oh, it is. I just try to ignore the pervy undertones so I can enjoy the ninjas and furry loincloths...

Anonymous mary commented at 5:46 PM~  

Dearest Zombie,

Thank you, and your nefarious youtube addiction for showing me the Bonnie Tyler video. I had actually never had the honor of viewing such a sick, twisted, yet somehow soothing and oddly erotic music video.. nay I say EPIC MUSIC FILM.

Seriously, who thinks shit like that up... like they just showed up on the set one day and took every freak in the studio and said "Yeah, put these goggles on.. BRILLIANT!"

Anonymous The Creep commented at 5:54 AM~  

"Run Bonnie...They're right behind you!"

Sorry. I'm a dork too.

Man the comments just kills me
I've heard (and read0 too many brain dead and drooling morons
claim that Slipknot ripped off Gwar that I belive they did not.
Which usually leaves me screaming (or typing with the cap lock on), "I've never seen battling a T-Rex live on stage! And until that day comes they are not ripping anyone off!".
That usually is followed up with "God your an idiot! Making me defend a band that I don't even listen to.".
Sure they wear masks, but that doesn't mean anything anymore.
Everyone wears masks now. I believe it's called plastic surgery.

However I DO believe that Slipknot is really Mr. Big under those masks.
Nothing will ever change my mind on that. lol

Anonymous The Creep commented at 5:57 AM~  

I also need to mention that I'm a drooling moron that can't type.

But I'm sure you've already noticed.

Ve Haf Vays of Making You Post a Comment.