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Sunday, October 29, 2006


Turns out that my daughter is more useful than I previously thought.

True, she makes valiant attempts at pulling her weight. After all, by the tender age of two, I had sent her out, like her brother before her, to get a damned job and start earning her keep. Ever after, she has been working like a migrant under the hot sun, tilling the soil and picking the cotton.

Saturday, I found out that she may have a more promising career ahead of her:


Apparently, 4 year olds are quite into the idea of reaching into half-frozen pumpkins to yank out their cold, squishy, stringy guts and stuff them into a shopping bag.

I like jack o'lanterns and all, but I hate sticking my hand in there to scrape out the nasty.

So now I'm thinking she can quit tilling the soil and instead go work in a factory that hollows out pumpkins to make canned pie filling or whatever.

This will probably bring in more money for me to spend on periodicals and keep her from complaining about how she needs a spine replacement from all her back-breaking labor.

I try to remind her that a little hard work never killed anyone, but we both know I am lying.

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"Mommy, why is my future so slimy?"

It should be noted that my son wouldn't touch the pumpkin-innards, so I guess he's stuck shoveling coal for the forseeable future. Some people just have no upward momentum.

link | posted by Zombie at 9:15 PM |


Anonymous token commented at 11:22 PM~  

Wow, she is really cute. And OMG! Just look at that shiny floor!

Anonymous Hunter commented at 1:54 PM~  

If she's willing to reach in there, she might have a better job than just 'reaching into pumpkins' for the next year or so. She looks almost small enough -- she might be able to get a job crawling inside dead animals to get out the really good bits.

Once she's too big for that, you can send her off to the all-natural, no-machines pumpkin processing plant.

Blogger Zombie commented at 4:15 PM~  

She is pretty tiny. I mean, she's proportioned, just petite. She's only just now fitting into clothes that are supposed to be for her age. She could probably easily fit inside a dead animal. I will disucss this option with her at the next Our Financial Problems and YOU: A Chez Zombie Production meeting.

I do hope she doesn't hit a growth-spurt and grow up to be freakishly tall like me, because that gets annoying after a while.

Blogger Zombie commented at 4:16 PM~  



Oh yeah.

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